Indigenous Perspectives on the Helping Relationship

Building a Helping Relationship

In any helping role, one of the first and most important steps is building a relationship with those we’re supporting. In many Western academic and professional contexts, this is often referred to as the therapeutic alliance – a collaborative foundation for the helper and client to build trust and connection.

During my time in university and practicums, I learned about this concept largely through a Western lens, which often presents helping relationships as structured, professional, and somewhat transactional, led by the helper and shaped by credentials, policies, and procedures.

Western Helping Models

In some Western models of care, the helper is encouraged to maintain emotional boundaries and limit personal sharing to protect the therapeutic process and uphold ethical standards. In this model of care, there are barriers to the flow of sharing from the helper to the participant.

The expectation is for the participant to share while the helper is depersonalized. The helper refrains from sharing, working to avoid being impacted by the relationship. Community, values, systems, and relationships are often viewed as influencing the participant’s lived experience, while the helper’s role is shaped by professional standards and ethical guidelines. Furthermore, this model emphasizes the importance of compartmentalization and emotional boundaries by the helper.

Over time – through reflection, lived experience, and participation in ceremony – I’ve come to understand that helping, from an Indigenous perspective, holds a different shape. It is grounded in relationality, reciprocity, and holistic connection. Rather than a linear or hierarchical approach, it is circular – trust is not assumed but co-created. It grows through shared experiences, mutual respect, and presence over time.

 It is through this lens that my understanding of how a therapeutic alliance creates collaboration and trust is different than the Western model.

Over time – through reflection, lived experience, and participation in ceremony – I’ve come to understand that helping, from an Indigenous perspective, holds a different shape.

Indigenous Helping Model

In an Indigenous model of care, the helper shares energy in a balanced, circular way with the participant. This allows for a flow of reciprocity. The helper can learn from the participant and the participant from the helper. In this model, the relationship is co-created. Outside the helping relationship are the community, values, systems, and relations that impact the helper and participant individually and together. These aspects are part of the helping relationship. This model is holistic, flexible, and flowing, as well as more emotionally open for helpers.

A Circular Model of Helping

As an Indigenous helper, sharing is an essential part of creating safety and comfort in the helping space. When I share parts of myself – stories, feelings, or experiences – it helps those I’m supporting feel seen and gives permission for them to share. This isn’t about disregarding boundaries, it’s about balance. We remain mindful of how and what we share to ensure we don’t take up too much space or unintentionally activate someone’s trauma.

Many Western models of care caution against personal sharing and there are ethical standards, dictated by regulatory bodies on what is defined as “the effective use of self.” Self-disclosure is frowned upon and is to only be used for the therapeutic gain of the client.

Some Western models emphasize one-sided sharing, where the participant is the primary focus, and the helper’s personal input is limited unless it serves a clear therapeutic purpose.

For some, this approach may feel emotionally distant or overly structured, especially when compared to more relational or culturally grounded models. Helpers are often encouraged to maintain a professional distance, limiting their presence in the space to protect themselves from empathy strain or ethical boundary violations, and to maintain neutrality. Some Western models emphasize one-sided sharing, where the participant is the primary focus, and the helper’s personal input is limited unless it serves a clear therapeutic purpose.

In contrast, Indigenous approaches to helping encourage a circular exchange of energy. The helper and participant engage in a mutual relationship – each has something to offer, and each has something to learn. This co-created relationship exists not in isolation, but within a broader web of community, values, systems, and relations. These forces shape and influence both the helper and the participant. The work is not only about individual healing – it’s connected to the collective. This contrasts with many Western models, where the helper and client may enter the space with more defined roles and boundaries.

This model, while deeply relational and flexible, also invites more emotional openness from the helper. Because of this, it’s essential that helpers remain attuned to their own well-being, regularly checking in with their emotions and practicing care for themselves as part of their practice. The helper is also highly attuned to ethical practices involving sharing. However, these ethical considerations are not from a place of rules and limitations but from a place of care.

Creating and Containing the Helping Space

In my own practice, ceremony plays a central role in creating and closing the helping space. I often begin with a smudge to engage the spiritual aspect of the helping space and relationship as well as to help clear any negative energy, set the intention for kind and positive engagement and care for both me and the person I’m supporting. This ceremonial start invites intention, grounding, and a shared presence.

Equally important is the act of closing. Releasing the energy shared in a session allows both helper and participant to leave in a good way. I often guide participants through co-regulation before the session ends – naming the transition, taking a breath together, or grounding in some way helps prepare for re-entry into daily life.

Because Indigenous helping practices involve emotional openness, it’s vital not to carry too much of what is shared. Helpers can incorporate personal release practices – smudging, spending time on the land, deep breathing, or simply checking in with the body to notice and release what we may be holding. Each person will find what works best for them. What matters is that we take time to acknowledge and honour the emotional energy of the work.